We are used to odd folks tumbling through our territory, setting up shop a few days where they either
a) barter with us until we are as bankrupt and hallow as the logs that line the squirrel cemetery
OR
b) realize we have no money or goods they can utilize, no matter how clever they are (some just can’t understand the worth of a coffee lid with a smiley face (Prof. Lid Smiles)).
But most recently a man, saddled upon a double horse carriage, has set up a bizare bazaar who wanted no money, just the opportunity to share his gift. Spectators lined up, but I abused my press credentials to get to the front of that line. Mr.Danish, the man in charge, instructed me to crawl through his imaginarium barrel, a cylinder lined with rust that was half a cooper’s barrel and half oil-barrel. He said nothing more and stared at me with his cereal box grin until I complied. I must say that once I started my way through the imaginarium barrel Mr.Danish was the last thought my mind tried to wrap itself upon. At first anyways.
I emerged at the other end of the barrel expecting this to be a trick to capture some hobos and harvest our beard power, but I was in a prison of another kind. Colors swirled in front of me, clouds waved to me, tiny toilets yipped at my heels, and my mind began to boil over. Those clouds dissolved and in their place rose my deepest secrets. I began to barf into one of the tiny toilets.
In an attempt to strap itself to something normal, my mind began to ponder Mr.Danish and all his mystique. There I was, in the imaginarium, facing my lost hopes (all the news outlets I wanted to write for), dreams (my goal of becoming the healthiest of hobos), and personal relevations I’ve been dusting under the carpet of my mind (I use artificial beard growth hormones). I began to distract myself by thinking, “Just where did Danish conjure this barrel from?” and, “Why was he wearing a duck billed hat…I wonder if he farms ducks?”
I finished unloading my waste into the toilet and decided to brave this maelstrom of imagination. I bet you can hardly wait to know what I discovered.